I don’t think he does. Because if he did couldn’t he just text him everything he tags him in on Twitter? Now maybe Zach changes his phone number a lot or he has a habit of losing it in an Uber or his phone goes through the wash consistently. Zach Ertz definitely looks like a guy who takes the clothes he’s wearing off while doing laundry and throws them in the load completely forgetting his phone was in the right pocket. Maybe Zach doesn’t like that his mom got lazy and gave up on finishing Nic’s name and that’s why he refuses to give him his cell phone number. I’m not saying Nic was looking for some attention with the above tweet he deleted, but he was definitely looking for some attention. And I ain’t mad at ya kid! Being a lawyer is cool don’t get me wrong, but we both know it’s not tight end for the Philadelphia Eagles cool. I know you have to strike while the iron’s hot any chance you get. Even Donnie Wahlberg knows how to capitalize when Mark throws a bone his way and look where that got him. Jim Carrey’s ex-wife and a reality show about burgers? People could do much worse.
And I understand supporting your brother. As a guy that doesn’t have a brother, you could argue I understand more what goes into supporting your brother because I have to work harder to understand the support that goes into it since I’m not on the same level playing field as Nic. Who has a brother. Again – I do not.
But just save yourself the backlash from Eagles fans and ask for your brother’s cell phone number. Or maybe you just misplaced it because you didn’t know what nickname you entered him in your phone as. You give your brother more nicknames than Shaq gives to himself.
Here lets craft out your first text to him as an exercise:
Ayy Big Dawg,
It’s your brother Nic. Ur PR team gave me your number. I saw your press conference today where you started to cry. I started tearin’ up too. Did you get my tweet about it? Anyway was just thinkin’ Jacksonville would be pretty dope in the winter if your agent can pull some strings…oh and mom wanted me to ask Z…did Visa ever get back to ya about lettin’ me make a cameo in the next commercial you and Julie do? W/e just good to finally text you after 24 years.
Pce Megaertz (little nickname I’ve been workshopping)
