Kevin Durant Is Coming For Phang’s Job

 

You want to win people back Kevin? Wear the Phang suit and go party with the Sons of Ben. Embrace the snake culture. Start telling people your favorite House is Slytherin. Or how you only watched Monty Python movies during quarantine. Lean into it. We’re already halfway there with you investing in a team who’s primary logo is a snake. You know Rich Kleiman brought it up that everyone was going to roast you on Twitter when this was announced. That and the fact you tried to invest in the DC United twice failed, and jumped ship to a title contender. But we won’t bring that up.

 

 

P.S. How long until we have a Colangelo burner situation on our hands? @Unionboy756453432 is going to be tweeting bullshit at Kacper Przybylko after a bad game and it’s going to end up being Kevin Durant huddled in the corner of the locker room. Honestly this feels like a Will Smith Sixers minority owner situation. Will Smith doesn’t even come back now when the team is actually good. No chance Kevin Durant ever steps foot in Chester for a Union game. Him stepping foot in Chester is almost as believable as how Phang got his arms and legs from being struck by lightning.

 

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