PRO TIP: if you are exposed to mace and/or tear gas DO NOT MASTURBATE, EVEN AFTER YOU WASH YOUR HANDS SEVERAL TIMES. this is not a joke i’m suffering
— fiona 🌻 🌈 (@fionerss) May 30, 2020
Don’t you ever fucking tell me, “Kyle. I’ve never once learned anything from a blog you’ve written.” Though true for the last 60 days this blog has been in existence…
Don’t flick your bean. Don’t choke your chicken. Don’t wrestle Stone Cold Steve Austin for the title. Are you thinking about taking the M-train to the station? You want to unleash the beast? Polish Darth Vader’s helmet? Wait a couple days. Don’t play the clitar. Don’t double-click your mouse. Don’t butter the muffin. You want to strangle the one eyed gopher? Be my guest, but you actually might end up blind like your mom told you was going to happen when you were a kid.
You want your dick to not feel like you need to call in the National Guard because you can’t control the 5 alarm fire in your pants than wait a couple of days to Flog the Molly’s.
Folks this is why you start a blog.