Some Guy From The Lake of the Ozarks Video That Went Viral Last Weekend Tested Positive For Coronavirus So The Health Department Released Every Bar He Was At And It’s Maybe the Most Boring Weekend Ever

 

Remember this video of a bunch of people at Lake of the Ozarks last weekend that people were hysterical over?

 

 

Someone probably in that video tested positive for Coronavirus and the Health Department decided to release everywhere the guy went last weekend to help contain the spread. This may be the most boring Memorial Day Weekend ever. This guy didn’t even earn the Coronavirus he was diagnosed with.

 

 

In by 10pm on the Saturday of Memorial Day? Only a 9 hour journey of day drinking to celebrate the start of summer? Spending 20 minutes at Backwater Jacks before calling it a night? This guy has to be on the back nine, but that can’t be an excuse because if you know you can’t hang til last call, you have to take the mid-day nap. Get out of Backwater Jacks at 5pm go grab something to eat and take a power nap for an hour and then head back over to the Shady Gator. Sidenote: A pool bar is weird at night. You can’t convince me otherwise.

His Sunday was even worst. B Dubs for only one hour? Who only does B Dubs for one hour? I don’t think I’ve ever had a full meal there in under an hour. Also, B Dubs is a risky go to right before you’re going to a place with a pool. You better have all bathrooms and exits memorized because there’s a 75% chance you’re going to shart after a dozen Mango Hanbanero don’t sit well. Anyway this guy was back in his house by 7pm? I’d give him the benefit of the doubt and said he picked up a lady friend and they went back for some pandemic sex, but after seeing his Saturday you can see this guy isn’t made for the long haul. He definitely woke up at 2AM covered in pizza unable to get back to sleep and a terrible hangover because he’s not built like he used to be.

I’m not saying I’m a beast or anything on a typical weekend, but on special weekends I’ll find a different gear. Especially weekends where summer officially starts. Because I’ve earned Summer at that point. We’re going til 5am every night and sleeping til 11am. Rinse. Repeat. Here’s a typical Memorial Day Weekend in Sea Isle.

Wake up 11am

Price is right 11am-12pm

Beach 12pm-1 or 2pm. Never have been a big beach guy.

2pm-5pm Drink and watch Phillies, Champions League, Sixers (when they make the ECF). Mix in an outdoor shower which is a top 5 feeling.

5-7pm No Shower Happy Hour at OD or LaCosta, but if you’re feeling fancy Henri’s/Braca’s for the War of 1812.

7pm-8pm – Angelo’s or Berardi Bros. for a slice to try and sober up the drunk friend, and that’s where you make the decision if you’re going back to change at the house for the night or you’re wearing the same thing you wore to No Shower out to the bars.

8pm-9pm Cocaine. Jk. I’m too old. Could have a heart condition I don’t know about. It’s strictly Adderall like adults.

9pm-11pm A mixture of OD, LaCosta, Shenanigans. Pick 2.

11pm-3am Dead Dog for Nikki on guitar and Napkins with Coldplay in the background.

3am-5am Wawa Classic Italian and beers at the house for a nightcap. The kinda beers where you find 8 floaters between 4 people when you’re cleaning up in the morning. Usually the chairs are on their sides to because there was a wrestling match.

Typing that all out made me really miss not being able to experience Memorial Day this year.

 

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