Imagine Spending $36K A Ball Signed By 8 Year Old Derek Jeter And His Little League Team

 

What do you do with this ball if you’re the buyer? Do you mount it in your man cave? Do you show it off to people when they come over? Hey I paid $36,000 for this ball signed by a 3rd grader and his team the other day because I don’t know what else to do with my life. This is a mid-life crisis purchase if I’ve ever seen one. Instead of a 86 Thunderbird some guy in Staten Island found himself on an auction website and said “Fuck it.” I mean Derek Jeter have some respect, you can’t even call that a signature. You bought a ball before Derek Jeter even learned how to write in cursive. Do you think Derek Jeter could wipe his own ass at that time? How sad is that? 

I’m pretty sure if you buy memorabilia from someone’s childhood you should have to register on Megan’s Law. This guy should have to introduce himself to his neighbors everywhere he moves. That’s the only reason why he’d spend $36K on a ball by 8 year old Derek Jeter. Imagine paying 9x the value it sold for in 2014. Do you actually think this ball is going to increase any? I guess the only chance it does is if Jeter becomes a leading executive or kills Hannah Davis. Those are the only two options. I know that’s morbid, but if you’re this guy you can’t tell me he doesn’t hope Jeter stabs Hannah Davis and her lover and leads the St. Petersburg police on a car chase for 30 miles in his Ford Bronco. This ball will fetch six figures if that happens. 

P.S. This has to be the highlight of Steve Lagerberg and Ryan McDaniel life right? Imagine this coming across the wire and you can finally convince your buddies who wouldn’t believe you, you actually played with Jeter in Little League. 

P.S.S. Remember we used to get all those graphics on every MLB broadcast about Jeter passing Pete Rose because he was ahead of him in Hits at that certain age?

 

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jeter rose

 

I feel like every broadcast loved putting that up because Bud Selig made them. The thought of Jeter becoming the Hit King over a disgraced Pete Rose would’ve made Bud Selig cum dust. A lot of people buried that thought after Jeter retired at 40, five years sooner than Rose’s career ended. 

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