As you know everyone’s taking a bath right now due to the Corona. Nobody’s in the red until the country opens back up. Unless of course you’re The Wooderboys and you operate with the no debt/no profit business model. If you think about it The Wooderboys might be a Fortune 50 company by the end of this based solely off of having zero income. I may have just re-written business books for eternity for simply not being marketable enough to make $1. Adam Smith is probably rolling over in his grave right now. If you don’t make enough money for a profit, then you can’t lose that profit when a pandemic hits.
But I have an idea to get Back in Black. Press play for dramatic effect while you read the rest.
My best idea so far was leaving Branded and starting my own sports blog in the middle of a widespread global outbreak that shut every sports league from here to Belarus down. But second was the crackpot team of marketing geniuses here at The Wooderboys had the idea to make shirts for CeeDee Lamb, Justin Jefferson, and Denzel Mims (I had a Jerry Jeudy “JEU CREW” with the “W” as a Menorah in the works to that I would’ve retired off of) before the Eagle’s 1st round selection of the draft. This way we’d capitalize on the pick and be the first one’s to get them out to the masses. Supply and Demand like you read about. Thing is Drew’s got a skeleton crew over at the Tree right now, which I think means Dan’s dead and his body has rotted to a carcass that the buzzards are picking apart in the parking lot or it’s just Drew by himself for the time being. So we decided we’d just throw them all up before the draft and hope the Eagles picked one of the three. Obviously we know how that went. Honestly, we never had a good enough Jalen Reagor shirt to release and didn’t think it was worth it to rush one for 0 sales.
Now look at these fucking things just chilling in DSGNTree Shirt Purgatory still up on The Wooderboys DSGNTree Site. They all make 0 sense now especially when we call ourselves a Philly sports blog and we have Vikings and Jets player themed shirts on it
Sidenote: that hoodie/t-shirt with The Wooderboys logo is top notch. I’d die on a hill that we have a top-3 logo in the city of any blog. And it ain’t #2 or #3.
The only thing worse then that MIMS shirt is the shirt idea I DM’d Drew about after The Last Dance episodes 5 & 6 last week.
I mean who the fuck was going to buy that? I should be forced to retire from the t-shirt game after that. A bum wouldn’t even use that as a cum rag at this point. If I walked into the Salvation Army to donate that shirt 8 years from now they’d ask me to keep it and escort me off the premises it’s that bad.
I’m writing this because at the time of this the shirts are still up on the site and they ain’t coming down any time soon. Drew basically told me to fuck off in the kindest way he could, after I bothered him three times to take them down, and put the new shirts up. Look at how professional this motherfucker is. If I was in Drew’s shoes I would’ve just taken us completely off the store and told me to kick rocks.
I’ll tell you what, I read “Thanks for your patience.” as “I will murder your ass if you ask again.” Fair enough I got the hint. Listen between the main blog Twitter, my personal, and Gary’s account we have 246 followers combined (and growing*). There are middle school plays performing “Gone With The Wind” that draw more of an audience than we do. I understand we’re not first priority.
Doesn’t mean we can’t sell them. So if you’ve read this far and want to support the blog and buy a shirt for that Vikings fan or Jets fan in your life. Or you like the Carson Wentz Good Shephard shirt we’d really appreciate it. Just think if this blog actually ever succeeds and we become something you’re basically owning a piece of modern art in the form of Justin Jefferson’s face. It also helps keep the lights on and we’ll continue to make you laugh, so thanks. Honestly, if I see you walking around Philly with the shirt on I’ll buy you a drink at the nearest bar.
If not I’m just going to Tweet at a bunch of Viking’s blogs and force them to sell them and split the profits with me. They’re used to being punished by the Eagles and their fans anyway.
Do you have any feedback or thoughts about the blog? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org. My secretary Pam will answer every email sent her way.