You know what’s worse than being named Kyle from the years 2019-20? Being named Karen. Every time a white woman goes viral, Karen’s everywhere take a beatdown from the internet.
Look at this wildebeast Karen freaking out at Red Lobster because she couldn’t get her shrimp scampi with a side of cheddar biscuits in a timely manner. The creature even identified herself as a Kathy and the Karen memes are still running wild. Karen’s record sits comfortably at 0-one billion against the Internet.
You know what’s worse than being named Kyle? Having a mom who’s first name is Karen. That’s correct my mom’s name is Karen. We’re basically the first family of the White Trash White House, if the White House was a motor home in Tuscaloosa. The house growing up was littered with holes in the walls, empty Monster cans, and every customer service number of every Fortune 50 company in America on speed dial. Honestly, my mother should’ve had the foresight that one day the Internet would’ve muddied my once proud Irish name to the point everyone that meets me immediately labels me an Untouchable.
Let the record show that I’ve never punched a hole in drywall ever.
The closest thing I ever did to being a Kyle was have 10 inch subs in the back of my 1993 Mazda Protege.
You haven’t lived until you rolled up blasting Big Sean’s – “Dance (Ass)” while pulling into your Catholic school parking lot senior year.
I do need to get out in front of something and that is I do own the school lunch cup logo pants. I bought them off of Amazon for a 90s party and I still wear them from time to time, but not out in public. Okay. I did twice to get takeout. They’re honestly some of the most comfortable pants I’ve ever owned.
“Alert the media and then you control the story. Wait for them to find out, and the story controls you. – Michael Scott”