I, Sergeant Smut, Am Fatphobic

https://twitter.com/ghoulets/status/1258006747341520896?s=20

 

On Thursday, May 7th, of the year 2020 of our lord and savior Michael Jordan. I would like to declare me, Sergeant O. Smut, officially fatphobic. I promise you my dear followers the only fat I will ever feature in my daily column Sergeant Smut’s Evening Cut (subscribe, rate, review), will be dat fat ass. I decree that as long as I am featuring the finest of Instagram models on this great publication, the only thing unfit, will be their psyche. The only thing I’ll allow in my presence to be in poor physical condition is my laptop riddled with viruses after downloading a torrent of “1 Night In Paris”. I promise the only time I’ll feature type 2 is if they’re twins. The only time something hefty will be in your presence is if you read my column while taking out the trash. Before, Adele looked more like Usdele, but no longer my friends. Pick up your phones and join me in our version of The Battle of the Bulge(ing).

 

 

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