You open up Georgia and people come out here with flying kicks like they’re god damn Daniel Son! He crane kicked the fuck out of this chick like she was the leader of the Cobra Kai!
Get this dude on the Navy Seals extraction team immediately! Imagine dropping this guy in the Middle East on a top secret mission to recover some hostages. He’d fly kick the shit out of a bunch of terrorists retrieve the hostages and get out before the Taliban knew what hit ’em.
This mall cop had absolutely no shot of breaking this up. You know he woke up pissed this morning that he had to go into his shitty job because people needed Cinnabon and a new wardrobe from H&M. If I’m him I’m letting those chicks fight to the death in the middle of a parking lot. If someone runs them over, so be it. Darwinism is a real bitch. It’s the middle of a fucking pandemic and now I have to risk my life to break up a couple people rolling all over the ground?
I’d like to imagine these two had beef before the pandemic and were planning on solving it the day after everyone got put on lockdown. Instead they just hade to let it fester for two months until they saw each other again. They probably subtweeted the fuck out of one another and had insults flying in the DMs. Real bad bitch shit. And when they finally saw each other at the mall it was on like Holyfield/Tyson in Mandalay Bay. Dana White needs to fly these two out to his fight island immediately. If you still have the same hate in your heart two days later, let alone two months it’s real spiteful shit. I need an ECW Hardcore match in the Octagon with steel chairs, kendo sticks, metal trashcans, ladders, and tables.