Last night’s episodes were by far my two favorite . They had everything I needed – Degenerate gambling stories, MJ being a dick to everyone that Jerry Krause lever said something positive about, and the ’92 Dream Team. I will also now be living my life through this mantra. For any future girlfriend, wife, or anyone who asks me why I’m watching Hawaii vs. Fresno State at 2am; I have a competition problem.
Kobe + Emotions
I mean they didn’t waste no time until they were pulling at our heartstrings introducing Kobe on screen. To be honest with you I thought there was going to be more Kobe in at least one of these two episodes. I don’t know if they cut a bunch stuff out after Kobe’s death, but ESPN was hyping up this weekend that we were getting a good amount of Kobe. It still seems surreal he’s gone. Watching him give interviews just from the last year is weird. Same with David Stern. What they did keep in was great though. Jordan calling Kobe that little “Laker Boy” and talking about how he doesn’t “let the game come to him, he takes it” were great. You sensed the respect Michael Jordan even had for Kobe as a 19 year old. Honestly, if MJ ever told me to call him whenever I needed something – no chance. I’d rack my brain so long trying to determine if he was fucking with me or not that I’d just decide he was and never call him.
Do you think MJ had a car phone? He definitely had a car phone.
How about Nike being this young upstart back in ’84? I can’t imagine Nike not ever ruling the world at one point. It’s laughable that people used to play sports at a high level in Chuck Taylors. Wilt Chamberlain was dropping 100 points in the same shoes that your girlfriends wear out to day drink with their friends.
The goal for Nike was to sell $3 million worth of shoes over MJ’s first four year contract. They sold $120 million worth of Air Jordan’s in one year. Imagine if Converse would’ve actually envisioned MJ being as big as he could’ve been. Are we all wearing Converse now?
I love how Adidas was like “Yea. We’re just not even going to attempt to try and make a basketball shoe for you”. The Krauts were like “Nein. Nein. Nein.” Looking back on it the fact people played in Adidas shoes is crazy to me. I don’t take anyone seriously who doesn’t play in Nikes. Steph Curry is an outlier, but this is what you get when you don’t sign to the Nike family. The Christmas Mass 1’s.
The Music Guy
Whoever did the music on the documentary double his salary. Episode 5 started with Nas’ “If I Ruled The World” I was already locked in as we were navigating around the Garden for the All Star Game.
He then followed it up with A Tribe Called Quest’s “Can I Kick It?”
And called his shot with “This or That” from Black Sheep.
Just an ultimate level of nostalgic classics from early 90s rap music. The only thing people can agree on from this doc is that the music at no point has not been on it’s A game. Honestly, I think I could do this job. I mean the late 80s/early 90s nostalgia is at an all time high always. If you mix Biggie, Tupac, Nas, Beastie Boys, Snoop, NWA, Bone Thugs, Naughty By Nature, Dr. Dre, rinse and repeat. You’ve got yourself a catalogue. I’m going to need the music guy win an Emmy for the score like he was in Star Wars or something.
Gambling Problems “Competition Problems”
If you have a
gambling competition problem please call 1-800-MICHAEL. Last week, we were done with apologies and instead smoking cigars with the fellas. This week we’re getting out of jail for selling your son’s XBOX to pay your gambling debts. No gambling problem here, just a competition problem. Did I go up $2k and lose it on Draftkings casino? Yes. Because I wanted to beat that fucking dealer so bad that I played til my last dollar was gone. It’s not about the money. It’s the competition that wakes me up in the morning. I wake up every day chasing the high of bankrupting Las Vegas.
P.S. Doing an interview indoors with sunglasses on while you’re trying to convince people you don’t have a gambling problem is a tough look. I imagine James Harden is our MJ, but instead of gambling it’s strippers and strip clubs. Imagine Cassidy Hubbarth sitting down with James Harden asking him if he had a strip club problem and he goes “No. I have an art problem. I love the way the girls dance, it’s an art form to me.”
MJ was the king of finding ways to motivate him. It’s an honor to be compared to Clyde Drexler. He’s a Hall of Famer, 10x All-Star, top 50 basketball player of all time. Anyone would kill for the career Clyde the Glide had. Instead you might as well have compared MJ to John Starks the way he reacted. So MJ just decided to average 35ppg and shoot over 50% from the field.
Anyone Jerry Krause Liked
Michael Jordan hated anyone that Jerry Krause ever spoke positively about. If Jerry said hi to a ball boy MJ would probably find a way to get him fired. This adds to the MJ will do anything to design an artificial competitive advantage over his opponent.
I felt like Kukoc was on a totally different level of hatred. I mean this guy was going to be a teammate of MJ and Scottie’s one day and they wanted to break him before he even had a chance to play a minute in the NBA just to spite Jerry Krause. That is a whole nother level of competitive drive. Also, no one was even coming close to giving Kukoc respect with the pronunciation of his name. There were 30 different pronunciations of Kukoc over a 2 minute period. Ku-Cock, Ku-Coach, Ku-Cuck. We needed the pronunciation guy from the 90s spelling bee’s just for announcers to learn Toni’s name. Also, Toni with an “i” is a bad look. Krause kind of left his guy out to dry when he let his name sound like it was the end of a wet noodle.
Jordan definitely overheard a conversation Jerry Krause was having about Dan Majerle going off for 30 one night in Phoenix and made it his life’s mission to embarrass him next time they played. Poor Dan Majerle just sitting in the locker room minding his own business before the game, probably terrified he has to guard Michael Jordan all series. He doesn’t even know that MJ is salivating like a rabid dog ready to go after him because Jordan’s own GM likes him even a little bit. You can’t teach that kind of hate. That’s a level of hate you absolutely hope to strive for one day.
How much do you think Brian Windhorst is jealous of Ahmad Rashad? Ahmad Rashad buddied up to MJ and has been riding his coat tails for 30 years. He’s seen everything MJ’s ever done, lived it with his own eyes, and continues to still reap the benefits. You know Brian Windhorst thought he was going to be the Ahmad Rashad of this generation when he hitched his cart to LeBron James. Instead, I haven’t seen Windy in like 6 months.Windy could be dead for all I know. LeBron’s coming to the end of his career and what does Windhorst have to show for it? Moving his family from Cleveland, to Miami, back to Cleveland, and finally LA. You know Windy’s wife HATED him when they had to move the family back to Cleveland. You get a taste of that Miami lifestyle and you get addicted fast. I wouldn’t be surprised if Windy’s chained up in the LA guest house of LeBron and only gets the scraps from Taco Tuesday.
Also, Ahmad Rashad is the greatest friend ever. Never any tell all books and he kept probably a 100 MJ stories to himself from the years. That’s loyalty and MJ having a big bank account to probably pay Ahmad off so he didn’t have to do any book deals. Has there ever been an MJ/Ahmad Rashad lover rumor like there is Oprah/Gayle King? I feel like those rumors were big back in the 90s. I feel like the National Enquirer is losing it’s fastball, still resting on the laurels of the Tiger Woods golf club incident story they broke.