SOURCE – We’ve all heard Jersey’s own Jon Bon Jovi sing about Tommy having a six string in hock or laying down on a bed of roses. But during an acoustic performance he did for a kindergarten class in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida on Monday the father of four sang about riding a bike without training wheels, not being able to go to school and other musings from the students about quarantine life.
“If you get to put your feelings down on paper, sometimes they’ll turn into songs. Sometimes they’ll turn into stories. And you never know where it might lead you,” Bon Jovi told the class from his home in the Garden State. Bon Jovi called on fans last month to help him finish writing a song, “Do What You Can,” about the pandemic. He had a first verse and the chorus, so he asked fans to share their coronavirus experiences — what they’re afraid of and what they’re missing, be it paychecks or the prom.
As if these fucking kindergartners wrote this Bon Jovi song. AS IF. They came home with an assignment and told their parents they had to write a song for Bon Jovi. It’s probably the first homework assignment their parents even gave a fuck about. Look at how many parents were in the screen over their kids shoulder to get a look at the Garden State GOAT (you heard me Bruce).
This lady doesn’t even have a child on camera!
She’s probably a friend of Mr. B’s that he’s been trying to fuck for years. He gave her the Meeting ID so she could get a free show from Bon Jovi in hopes that he’d get a free show down post-quarantine. Can’t knock the hustle from Mr. B.
Hey AJ that ‘trapped in the house, now I feel like a mouse’ line? Absolutely god awful. Unless your dad set some glue traps downstairs and their’s some rat screaming for dear life, this line doesn’t make sense. What mouse is trapped in a house? Once a mouse gets in your house he basically owns it. He’s free to go wherever he wants and do whatever he pleases until he moves on to the next house. I would ask where you got that shitty line from, but your dad answered that one for me.
AJ’s dad thought he nailed that “living on a prayer” one so much that Bon Jovi was going to invite him on his next tour. How the fuck did AJ’s dad land his hot wife? That “thank you so much” from mom was a cry for help of “Please fuck me Bon Jovi my husband can’t!”
Also, Bon Jovi, you’re a rockstar. Pull it together man. You look like my lesbian aunt who’s protesting the lockdown because she can’t go to the hairdresser and color her hair. You’re supposed to be a sex icon, not look like Alexander Hamilton on the $10 bill.
There’s no chance these kids gave a fuck it was Bon Jovi. You throw that weirdo Blippi in there and these kids lose their shit. If Bon Jovi really wants to make a difference maybe drop in on a virtual Zoom “Painting With A Twist” night of my mom’s friends. Talk about getting a reaction from some sauced up mid-50s women who’d want to fuck you. One of them will probably let you know how they lost their virginity to “You Give Love A Bad Name”.