In America The Tie Should Be Illegal

 

Another weak quarantine has gone by which means I have to drop another blog that I feel passionate about. That my friends are ties in any activity. I’m not talking about the thing you put around your neck. Not that I know how to tie that thing anyway. I’m talking about at the end of a sporting event both teams walk away not a loser nor a winner. A tie to me is as Un-American as it gets and should be illegal in this great country of ours.

Lets, go to one of my favorite leisure activities to watch. The National Scripps Spelling bee. There is nothing better than watching hundreds of 10-14 year little kids spell words that I have not even heard of. Not to mention the moderator, who tells them the word, origin, or definition is literally seen once a year by the public. In the 2019 Spelling Bee it ended in an 8 WAY TIE. Eight People!!

 

 

I’m sorry that is just simply unacceptable to me. I don’t care if those geniuses are up there til 3am spelling French words with a Hungarian origin that was converted to Ethoipian. You spell until you drop!

This brings me to my “PJ Theory of Life” which is the law of inequality. This inequality states that no two things in this world can be equal. For example, I love Buffalo Chicken Pizza. I also love Mac and Cheese. Yet at the end of the day I have to love one more than the other.  You will always have a preference. There is no ifs, ands, or buts when defining this law. There is always something better or worse, never the same. 

So, how does this relate to my hatred against tying? Well imagine a world where we just said, fuck it. Germany we’re done here, let’s call it a draw. It would’ve been the biggest simp move in the history of the world. Simps like ties. Simps are content with breaking even. When I’m betting I’m either making 100 or losing 100. I don’t wanna come out even. So America, don’t be content with tying in anything, that is what they do in other countries with sports like soccer. Ties are for the weak! You think Rebecca Sealfon would’ve settled for a tie?

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