A semi colon space, a semi colon space, ok i got this. That how my high school typing teacher started everyclass, let’s just say boring as fuck, but i do remember how to type, which means i’m fucking back bringing some heat writing another blog. I know there will be alot of people, who will ask how many will you write? will you write everyday,?whens the next one? Well quite frankly i committed to blockhead Kyle, once a week, let me tell you i’m off to a ripping fucking start i told him this would be done on Friday,, but i failed that one guess i chapped that ass.
For those of who don’t know me, which I’m sure much of you don’t, Everyone calls me Buddy, not like the fucking elf (Although great movie love Will Ferrell). It’s more like buddy as your friend the one who cares wants to help out, even chap your ass when your having a real shitty day., and i’ll always be there. Honestly i said this before idk if i’ll name my first dog buddy or my first kid BUDDY!.
Now let me say this for those of you who don’t know me, let me give you a briefing of how i blog. I don’t care about punctuation (tho i use it whether its right or wrong) i don’t care about spelling errors (spell check thank you) and i certainly don’t give a flying fuck if i use their or there in the right way. I’m me and i typically blog like i talk ( judge away) but I’m the real OG genuine talking about what ever comes across my brain( humble brag it’s BIG) Last but not least my thots are certainly scattered like if you’re running away from the cops and you’re like what’s my next move and you just farted but need to check your pants because WTF.
OK let’s get down to some business, I titled this one QUARANTINE. What is quarantine? well to be quite frankly when this pandemic started and the news was going bonkers saying stay quarantine, i had no idea what the hell that meant, so to clarify the definition of quarantine is “a state, period, or place of isolation in which people or animals that have arrived from elsewhere or been exposed to infectious or contagious disease are placed.” (Thanks Webster) Honestly i didn’t believe this at all, until it hit me like a big grey hound bus. I went to Cherry Hill to get groceries, i quickly noticed that multiple people were wearing gloves and masks, i was like these people are freaks, this isn’t fucking CHINA (Insert Donald Trump saying China). This is now when my thots started running wild, and i started watching the news catching up on what was going on. Next people are talking about everything shutting down and only places that would be open were grocery stores and gas stations. I took that as two positives food and gas, yup i need both of them, mainly because one i drive my car, and two i’ll have brain food to feed the monster in side my skull. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks wait, are you serious no more happy hours, no more Buddy Mcgillins. My ass went from being certainly fine to super chapped, like i needed a warehouse full of it to unchapp it.
I now knew i needed to think quickly on how to survive, first thing i did on my way home from work, i picked up 20 cases of beer. I asked the dude at the register, “Do i get a deal if i buy 20 cases of beer?” kid was so shook that he stuttered and said let me get my manager. I thought OK, manager comes over i hit him with a BUDDY if i scoop 20 cases do i get a deal. He goes to computer hits a couple buttons and goes yea. Like i knew he wasn’t going to say no. I also know you get deals in mass quantity, from my fraternity days where we use to buy beer by the pallet also referred to as a power stack! I briefly told my roommates that i had the mother load, PQ ass chapped wouldn’t help bring the cases in the house , he thought it was stupid, i said whats stupid was you not helping, you know how many trips, we had to make from the car to house too fucking many, unreal.
First weekend of basically being on house arrest. For the record i’ve never been on house arrest but spent a night in a holding cell (great night bad outcome) i’ll save that story for another time. But nonetheless it’s Friday, Quarantine DAY 1 (before it got super serious) My roommates and i decided we had all this beer we should try to drink 100 beers. We were off to a ripping start until i looked over at PQ and he had only drank 3 beers. I did a double take and was like WTF are you doing dude? i thought we are fucked we will be lucky if we get to 60 smh. It got to the point where i was like fuck this, though enjoying myself i said tomorrow is another day.
Day 2 of house arrest, we recruited 3 more people, and it hit me today was the day “THE ROAD TO 125”, yes i said it 125 beers what up! We had one of the biggest brain ideas in world, we were going to have a concert in our basement. Yes, we stormed the idea of finding a full concert on youtube, and pretend like we were actually there. (Quick off topic but we came up with the idea of in home concerts and what do you know Obviously we went with Hootie as the first concert Charleston, SC 2006, we came down stairs dressed up like we were there Hawaiian shirts, sunglasses and flip flops. but first we needed an opening act, kinda like the celebrity softball game, its entertaining but nobody is really entertained. We decided on TRAIN in Boston. it was decent enough said. All we could really think of was who was in the on deck circle, the main event the top of the top, just there practice swinging winking at the girls in the crowd, then boom we are rocking in SC, 100 cup beer pong, beer bongs giving shout outs, and yelling after every single beer we crushed “We are on the Road to 125” we were off like a rocket ship to the fucking moon. Ripping beers left and right, building the pyramid of all pyramids of empty beer cans. Wait what are we back in college or just living life, I’ll let you ponder that one. Before you know it the boys were buzzing (one of my phrases) but that night the boys acquired a new phrase, “SOMEBODY SUCK ME” where did it come from no clue i thought it was out of a movie, i still think it is but i can’t confirm nor deny it, but it was hilarious. As the night got later into the dark hours of the falcons flying at midnight, people were punching a very familiar ticket to the BOC (Black out City), just like if you were at BBT Pavilion, stumbling across the lawn, thinking where the train is and hoping you get off at the right stop. Next thing i know i woke up in my room going what the hell happened last night, i missed the final touch to the pyramid, i wasn’t in the picture, which more than anything had me all chapped up. First weekend of quarantine was in the books. It had its ups and down, and since then was never the same.
The end to the actual ending hopefully you enjoyed a little story time, i plan to be back next Saturday morning with more stories, opinions, and hopefully this gives everyone a Saturday feel. Maybe i’ll even do some content, which means my intern will be back (maybe) might take some actual convincing this time LOL. but for now take it day by day and win the day.
Now the ending with COVID-19 its is a very serious matter, stay home be safe, wash your hands. Although if my mom texts me one more time about washing my hands i was going to reply with i’m going to jump in the Schuylkill River. Back to the serious matter. Huge shout out to all the hospital personal, they are truly saving AMERICA, and without what would we really have? Think about that.
PS if anyone is knows a nurse dealing with COVID-19, i’m going to gift them some of my stimulus check to them but it needs to be confirmed, and the venmo must be open.
Take Care Brush your Hair!