Who the hell popped Matt Geiger out of their vagina? What was that crime scene like? This baby is HUGE! Someone get this baby a sponsorship deal with Gerber’s new protein powder line.
Coaches have to be scrambling to get tape on this kid this late in the Draft Process. Sources are saying Dave Gettleman had to call teams and tell them the 4th pick is off the board they found their guy to protect Daniel Jones’ blindside.
Strengths: Rare physical specimen, Quick-twitch eruption out of his stance with first step, Power and size
Weaknesses: Will need his diaper changed 4x a day, immaturity, questions authority
I’m moving the Big Baby up my list of GQ’s The 100 Most Powerful Bald People in the world just before Shaq and right behind Pope Francis. This kid is going to be Putin levels of powerful by 2030.
Can we talk about the fact this baby just got changed? I thought I was seeing a ghost, but nope, that was booty powder shooting all which way. Everyone knows an offensive lineman with a clean butt, is a dangerous one.
Off topic: That Rugrats episode with Big Baby gave me nightmares. I don’t know who wrote Rugrats, but looking back on it there was a lot of messed up stuff for it to be considered a children’s show. I want to know who green lit the Giant talking baby who had a lisp and sounded like he smoked a pack of Marlboro Reds a day.