Hey listen Fats, Diddy is a master marketer. You know what makes the Instagram Live viewers plummet? Having Lizzo twerking all over the joint. This Instagram Live was for charity for gods sake! If you think Diddy’s going to raise more money with Lizzo twerking her jello moving ass all over the place than Draya you’re dumb. If you think Lizzo and Draya have the same twerking rights, you are flat out wrong. No one wants to see Lizzo twerking all over the place just like I didn’t want to see Lizzo in her assless chaps at the Lakers game. You think these two get equal twerking rights? Well then you’re absolutely brain dead if you think people would prefer Lizzo over Draya.
Listen, no one wants to see Lizzo Klump shake that ass. Lizzo’s way more talented than Draya, makes awesome songs I like to shake my ass too, and can play the flute. Play to your strengths, Lizzo! Her weaknesses just so happen to be willpower. Especially when it comes to the all you can eat buffet at Golden Corral. You can’t convince me the same people getting all bent out of shape about this would prefer Lizzo sitting on their face over Draya. If it was Lizzo it’d be like Justin Long coming up for air in that scene from Dodgeball.
It’s just science. I didn’t create my brain. That’s the way it’s always been.
The only dudes who pick Lizzo in this situation are those dudes with Feeder Fetishes.
What a weekend for Diddy! First, he introduces us to his Chair Bitch, then he’s told by an ex how much her current boyfriend idolizes him, and now he’s upset the Fats and the White Knights. Master marketer. That’s how you drum up donations for charity.
